


when you get your coffee black

by fatherofangst



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, F/F, I cried writing this, Rilaya, This is super sad, Trigger Ending, also inspired by rupi kaur milk and honey, and black coffee if you feel the same, grab tissues, read with song in summary, sorry but sometimes i need to write stuff like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatherofangst/pseuds/fatherofangst
Summary: the bitterness reminds you of her.insp. by: the one that got away (acoustic) - katy perry





	when you get your coffee black

The streets of New York City are covered in a white powder and she remembers as a kid how nights like these were filled with excitement waiting for the morning when she could go play. When days were filled with innocence and make-believe.

Topangas is getting quieter, the last of the evening rush leaving now and she starst to untie her apron. She hangs it on the rack and places her mug under the coffee maker. She leans back on the counter, staring where the couches and chairs used to come together, where she used to spend her teenager years. She looks away quickly as the burn comes up her throat and organizes the sugar packets on the counter. 

The trickle of coffee echoes through the empty shop and she turns to pick up the warm mug. She turns the sign on the door to _Closed_ and closes the blinds. Settling on the barstool, ways away from the sitting area where a dull life still hums in the air, she stares into the blackness of her coffee. The steam tickles her face and warm her cheeks and she raises a hand to feel the warmth.

Its something she never feels anymore, even on days where the sun hits the buildings at the perfect angles to glow on her face. Coldness consumes her and she wonders if the ice is breakable inside of her, she knows it isn’t… no ice pick in the world could break it, for it has become apart of her. Her hand lingers on her thin cheek, fingertips brushing her protruding cheekbones then falling back to her lap.

She misses the plumpness of her cheeks, the curviness of her body. She misses looking healthy. Her eyes are dull and the twinkle thats been there for 21 years disappeared on the 22nd. Her legs are so thin and her bones stick out everywhere. But how can you look _“full of life”_ when you’re so deprived of it?

She wraps her hands around the mug, ignoring the burn it leaves on her palms, and brings it to her lips and sips. 

Its bitter. So bitter. But thats how she likes it… how she needs it. She tastes the bitter state she left her in, it makes her weep over the counter, tears dropping into the coffee. But she’ll never stop drinking because she’d rather have the darkest parts of Maya Hart than nothing at all. Her vision is blurry with tears but she keeps drinking.

This is the only memory of her she has, the bitterness she left on her heart the night she left. The night she told Riley she was done, leaving her engagement ring on the coffee table and leaving forever.

99 missed calls but she's saving the 100th one, for the last call she’ll ever make.

She decides she’ll call tonight.

 

Its a while before she gets to the roof of the tallest building in Greenwich. She walks out of the staircase and sees the stars and the city displayed in front of her. She walks till her knees are hitting the ledge and pulls out her phone. She dials and listens to the tone, swaying and dozing. The bitterness always made her tired.

She's surprised when she hears a voice on the other end, expecting an open mic and an empty audience just like the other 99 times. 

“Hello? Who’s this?”

She sniffles into the mic and wipes her eyes. “Its me.”

“Riley? What the hell why do you keep calling me?”

“I-“ She inhales sharply and hears movement on the other end.

“Riley. Call Farkle, Lucas, Smackle, Zay, somebody else…”

“They’re gone Maya. They hate me.”

“What? Wha- Why- How could somebod- Why do they hate you?”

“Because I’m a mess and they think its my fault. They hate me because I took all those pills.”

“I’m so confused. Riley.. Call. Someone. Else. I really don't want to do this.”

“EVERYBODY LEFT ME MAYA!” You scream while your voice trembles.

“MY PARENTS MOVED WITH AUGGIE BACK TO PHILLY, FARKLE AND SMACKLE WENT TO HARVARD, LUCAS AND ZAY WONT BE BACK FROM TOUR FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY! BUT YOU DIDN’T AND NOW IM ALONE!”

She takes a shaky breath and looks below her where the end of the building meets concrete.

“What did I do Maya- I swear I thought I was being good to you. I made you breakfast and I never forgot our anniversary. Pleasepleaseplease what did I do?”

“Riley you- you- you loved me. You loved me too much.”

Riley laughs and licks her lips. “You’re so full of shit. You fucking ruined me. You ruined everything.”

“I-“

“YOU MADE ME ATTEMPT SUICIDE, YOU MADE ME THINK IT WAS MY FAULT FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS! TWO YEARS MAYA HOW DO YOU THINK IM SUPPOSED TO FEEL? AM I SUPPOSED TO BE JUMPY AND HAPPY AND GO ABOUT MY LIFE LIKE NONE OF THIS HAPPENED? LIKE WE WERNT SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED THE MORNING AFTER YOU LEFT? MY BODY IS COVERED IN CUTS AND I HAVE TO TAKE STUPID FUCKING PILLS SO I CAN GET THROUGH A DAY!” You scream and you hope she hears you all the way in Cali-fucking-fornia.

Riley hears crying on the other end and she feels bad that she cant find sympathy in her.

“You were supposed to stay Maya. Be my wife and my soulmate.”

“I can be- Riles- I-I-“ She sobs.

“Remember it was supposed to be us forever? Thunder and lightning? Riley and Maya?”

“Yes… how could I forget?”

“I’m sorry Maya. But I have to…”

 

She puts down her phone on the ledge and takes off her jacket. She steps on the ledge and holds her arms out and feels the breeze. She smiles and closes her eyes.

“RILEY RILEY! PLEASE I CANT GET- FUCK! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

 

She leans forward.

She always wondered how it felt to fly.

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wrote this bc i was feeling angsty and sad. i want to write more of these so let me know what you think!


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